The Out of Work Attorney's Famous Chocolate Pancakes

In case many of you don't know, I have yet to find gainful employment as an attorney. This has given me plenty of time to work on all kinds of recipes in my kitchen. I would like to share one of my favorite recipes with you all now:

Juice's Famous Chocolate Pancakes

Ingredients:
1 cup instant pancake mix
3/4 cup water
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp cocoa powder

Instructions:
First, you wake up between 9:45 and 11 because when you are without a job there is really no reason to get up earlier. Next, you measure out the pancake mix and the cocoa powder into a small mixing bowl. Next, you feel guilty about being at home making fucking pancakes when every decent human being is at work, so you go to your computer and search monster, careerbuilder, and every other job site that is supposed to assist in finding employment. After realizing you are either not qualified for any legal jobs or have too much dignity to accept an entry level sales position at Staples, you return to the kitchen and add the water and vanilla extract to the pancake mix. Mix vigorously for 2 minutes while wondering how the hell you will ever pay off the small fortune in loans you have accumulated and if you have the wherewithal and capabilities to be a stick up man a la Omar from the "Wire" (I have a code and i also look good in silk pajamas.) Next, place the mixture to the side and place a pam sprayed skillet on the stove top set for medium heat. While waiting for the skillet to heat have a shot or 6 of whiskey. Yes, it is way too early to be drinking, but you don't have anywhere to be, right? After the skillet is heated, pour a 5 in. diameter worth of mix onto the skillet and heat for 90 seconds on each side. This recipe should yield about 4 pancakes or just enough for a jobless bastard to sustain himself until "All My Children" starts and he can make himself a peanut butter and depression sandwich.

Suggested Pairings:
bacon, sausage, jameson's, wild turkey, rubbing alcohol, tang

Please enjoy.

And I'm Back

I know it has been awhile and I apologize. But coming soon will be the kind of posts that everyone expects. Unadulterated garbage from a man who is pathetically slipping down the rabbit hole. First real post coming soon!